Positive Discipline
At QAE, you will hear a lot about Positive Discipline as we use it in all of our classrooms. Positive Discipline is a program based on the work of Alfred Adler and Rudolf Dreikurs and is designed to teach young people to become responsible, respectful and resourceful members of their communities with a kind, yet firm approach. Based on the best selling Positive Discipline books by Dr. Jane Nelsen and other co-authors, it teaches important social and life skills in a manner that is deeply respectful and encouraging for both children and adults (including parents, teachers, childcare providers, youth workers, and others).
Recent research tells us that children are “hardwired” from birth to connect with others, and that children who feel a sense of connection to their community, family, and school are less likely to misbehave. To be successful, contributing members of their community, children must learn necessary social and life skills. Positive Discipline is based on the understanding that discipline must be taught and that discipline teaches. Jane Nelsen gives the following criteria for “effective discipline that teaches”:
Recent research tells us that children are “hardwired” from birth to connect with others, and that children who feel a sense of connection to their community, family, and school are less likely to misbehave. To be successful, contributing members of their community, children must learn necessary social and life skills. Positive Discipline is based on the understanding that discipline must be taught and that discipline teaches. Jane Nelsen gives the following criteria for “effective discipline that teaches”:
The 5 Criteria of Positive Discipline1. Helps children feel a sense of connection. (Belonging and significance) 2. Is mutually respectful and encouraging. (Kind and firm at the same time.) 3. Is effective long-term. (Considers what the child is thinking, feeling, learning, and deciding about himself and his world – and what to do in the future to survive or to thrive.) 4. Teaches important social and life skills . (Respect, concern for others, problem solving, and cooperation as well as the skills to contribute to the home, school or larger community.) 5. Invites children to discover how capable they are. Encourages the constructive use of personal power and autonomy. Here is the positive discipline matrix we use with kids
| Encouragement Vs. PraiseThe long range effect of encouragement is that it invites self-confidence. The long-range effect of praise invites dependence on others. The positive discipline approach encourages adults to encourage the children we are teaching as much as we can. Wondering whether the statements you make to children are praise or encouragement? Ask, ~ Am I inspiring self-evaluation or dependence on the evaluation of others? ~ Am I being respectful or patronizing? ~ Am I seeing the child’s point of view or only my own? ~ Would I make this comment to a friend? Here are a few examples of praise vs. encouragement: ~ “You got an A, I’m so proud of you,” vs. “You worked hard. You deserve it.” ~ "You did it right.” vs. "You gave it your best.” Or, “How do you feel about what you accomplished?” ~ “I like the way you did that.” vs. “I appreciate your cooperation.” ~ “You did it right.” vs. “What do you think/feel?” or "What did you learn?" |
Creating a true classroom community through Class Meetings
Class meetings are one of the positive discipline tools I will use this year to create a safe, trusting learning environment that empowers the kids to feel like they are connected and significant members of our learning community. We will have a class meeting every day for 15 – 20 minutes, with our first one happening on Monday. At our class meetings, we will practice taking turns talking and listening using our talking (rain) stick. We will also talk about what a compliment is (telling someone something you appreciate or admire about them) and learn the difference between outside compliments (about something external ~ clothes or looks) and inside compliments (about internal qualities ~ personality traits, practiced skills… ) . Each day, our class meeting will begin with students giving and receiving inside compliments. This week we practiced giving ourselves a compliment! Our class meeting learning this fall will be inspired by the Positive Discipline and Kelso's Choice programs. Later in the year, I will also draw from the Zones Of Regulation and Superflex programs. I will be sharing about all of these programs as the year unfolds.
"I compliment myself for being in kindergarten" ~What a GREAT compliment. It is hard work being in kindergarten.
Having a calm body spot to go to when our "lid is flipped"
Julietta Skoog, our school counselor, came to our class and read us a book called "Jared's Cool-Out Space". We really liked the book, and talked to her about ways we can cool down when our body does not feel calm or ready to learn. Many students expressed an interest in creating a cool-out space at home, like Jared did in the book, and plan to talk to their families about doing so. We decided to create a calm body spot in our classroom as well. Kids will be able to use this place to calm their bodies and brains down when they need to, getting themselves back to a state that allows them to learn. During one of our class meetings this week, we decided that we wanted to decorate our calm body spot with a SPACE theme, just like Jared. ***If you and your student want to contribute to the decorations by making something at home, please bring it in next week so our calm body spot can come to life! Decoration could stick on the wall, hang from the ceiling, or be propped up at our problem solving table. | |
Ms. Skoog teaching the kids about what happens to their brain when they get really angry, you "flip your lid"
Solving our own problems with Kelso's Choices
Kelso is a green frog. He (with my help) teaches students to identify which problems are big (when someone can get hurt) and which problems are small (not taking turns or sharing, cutting in line, ect). When a big problem occurs, students know to go tell an adult they trust right away. When a small problem occurs, students are encouraged to try two of Kelso's choices before they go to an adult for help. Small problems not solved after trying two choices can turn in to big problems as well. The Kelso wheel of choice helps students choose appropriate ways to act when they are dealing with conflict. Students are empowered when they feel strong enough to solve problems on their own. Kelso's choices are: 1) Talk It Out 2) Share and Take Turns 3) Ignore It 4) Walk Away 5) Tell Them to Stop 6) Apologize 7) Make a Deal 8) Wait and Cool Off 9) Go to Another Game |
At the beginning of kindergarten, a lot of small problems seem like big problems to the students. Right now, teachers are meant to be the facilitators when it comes to problem solving. We need to model for the students how all of these choices are effectively used before we can expect students to use them on their own.
In our class meetings, we will spend time learning the difference between big and small problems as well as learn each of these choices, practicing what the choice looks like with role-plays and reporting stories about when choices are used at school to solve small problems. We will teach and model these choices for the next several weeks.
"Tattling" is a word that is often used by adults in a way that is confusing to children. Kelso teaches kids that tattling occurs when a child has a small problem that he or she could work out with one of his choices. If the child perceiving the problem goes directly to an adult to get the person he is having a problem with in trouble instead of trying to solve the problem with the child first, that is tattling.
In our class meetings, we will spend time learning the difference between big and small problems as well as learn each of these choices, practicing what the choice looks like with role-plays and reporting stories about when choices are used at school to solve small problems. We will teach and model these choices for the next several weeks.
"Tattling" is a word that is often used by adults in a way that is confusing to children. Kelso teaches kids that tattling occurs when a child has a small problem that he or she could work out with one of his choices. If the child perceiving the problem goes directly to an adult to get the person he is having a problem with in trouble instead of trying to solve the problem with the child first, that is tattling.